The Evolution of Evil Corporations
by gyver21
Summary: Oneshot. Humorous, Semicrackfic. Wolfram and Hart will stop at nothing to control the world, and they will never be fully defeated. But how does that affect the world in five hundred or a thousand years? AtS/Firefly/Futurama


I do not own anything that resembles previously established characters and/or ideas. Angel and Firefly are both owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, Futurama is owned by Matt Groening.

NEW BEIJING (formerly Tokyo, Japan) 2132 A.D.

~~•••~~

The Senior Partners strolled through the opulent hallways of their law firm's head office. After that upstart Angel had been dealt with, the Partners decided that America was no longer the best place for the headquarters of their endeavours, between the trend of American teenagers deciding to go out and form together to "fight the good fight", along with that Summer's girl creating so many Slayers and opening a school for them. No, America was no longer ideal.

Fortunately, there was still plenty of places the world over that was content to ignore the truth about what really happens in the shadows. After considering many locations, they decided that Asia, and more specifically China, was going to work best for their particular needs.

This decision turned out to be most fortuitous fifty years later when China began a very... assertive expansion campaign. In just twelve short years they had claimed half of Asia. And with the right contributions of both money and the odd agent or two, Wolfram and Hart made itself an invaluable ally to the Chinese government.

By the end of the century, China was in control of everything from France to Japan, as well as Indonesia and Australia. The firm was deeply set into the governments decision making and future plans. Nearly every high ranking official was either deep in the firms pockets, or was actually owned by the firm outright. The only downside of this time period was that the United States owned the rest of the world, having taken it much more peaceably, whether because the country had turned over their land in exchange for protection from China or the States had bought it piece by piece until there was nothing left of the original country. The two megapowers had since reached a peaceable agreement and understanding of cooperation.

Now the Senior Partners were meeting with high level agents of both governments, to discuss a new business venture.

"Good afternoon gentlemen. Thank you both for coming. I believe that you'll find the trip was well worth the effort."

"You said that this meeting would be vital for the continuation of our people, as well as our government." The Chinese diplomat Bao Sing. "How could we not attend?"

"Well said, Ambassador Sing. This does indeed concern the future of the human race. You see, over the years, Wolfram and Hart has grown nearly as much as your respective countries. Through dummy corporations and invisible subsidiaries, we now own and operate nearly 60% of the worlds business."

"As fascinating as this is, what does it have to do with us?" The US agent, John Pasquanni, asked.

"Through our many holdings, we have perfected the process of terraforming other planets to be suitable for human habitation. Along with our recent advances in making space travel easy and affordable, we believe that this presents us all with a unique opportunity."

"You mean expansionism." Bao Sing said with glee. He certainly shared his countries thirst for new ground to claim.

"Mmm, more like relocation. You see, soon some of our... financial backers, will be coming to Earth for their piece of the profits. At that point it'll be very unpleasant to be on this planet. So we're offering to work in conjunction with both countries to get as much of the population away as we can."

"But where will we go? Is there a planet you have in mind?" John asked.

The Senior partner smiled. "Even better. There is a cluster of five stars that have nearly one hundred planets between them. They are all close together and all the planets are valid candidates for terraforming."

"So when did we begin?" Bao asked.

"The planning has already begun. It will take decades before we're able to begin the actual exodus, but we have the time. We'll be helping every step of the way. Beginning with the public announcement ofthe our new corporate name, modeled after one of the stars we'll be heading for. Gentleman, today Wolfram and Hart dies. Tomorrow Blue Sun is born."

~~•••~~

NEW NEW YORK 2856 A.D.

So Blue Sun hadn't worked out to anyone's expectations. The one Slayer they managed to snag and reprogram before her powers emerged had been an epic fail. But River was gone now, along with anyone related to the program, and most of the other Senior Partners. She was, if fact, the last remaining Partner.

But the good news is the demons that backed them had relinquished the Earth back to humanity. So she had returned to her true home and, after liquidating all of Blue Suns holdings, was ready to begin again this time with a new, improved image.

Stepping into the conference room, she looked around at her new employees and smiled. She would claim this world once and for all, she just needed the right campaign tools. "Hello dearies. Thank you all so much for choosing to come and work for my little company. My names Mom."


End file.
